Breaking Destructive Patterns Pt. 2

By the end of the week he found someone he liked, so he let me know that if I liked, I didn’t have to work the following week.  Considering I wouldn’t be eligible for vacation or even a sick day for a while with the other job, that was nice.  That entire week between the two jobs I spent looking for another job, so that I wouldn’t have to start the new job, which I’d just agreed to do.  I didn’t get any responses during that week, so reluctantly, faking excitement, I started the new job that Monday.  The hours were from 6:30am to 5:30pm Monday through Thursday, which I didn’t mind because I’m an early bird. The traffic coming from Alexandria after 5:30 is HORRIFIC.  I’d get home between 7 and 7:30pm, grabbed something to eat, be in bed by 9pm so that I could wake up at 4:30am and do it all over again.  Now, like I said before, the hours weren’t the problem.  The problem was that I was spending approximately 15 hours of my day doing something that I hated doing.  Something for which I had personal passion.  I was building another man’s house and letting mine crumble. Building another man’s wealth and I was living paycheck to paycheck. By that Wednesday, I knew that this was absolutely, positively not the job or place for me.  The staff was great but there’s always that one, that if you met them in a back alley with your gun, it would have been on.  This lady was a dictatorial, want to be managerial, condescending, overbearing 50 year old receptionist.  I later found out that there had been another person in this position but she quit after 4 days and the only reason that they created this position in the first place is because the Business Manager gave the Dentist and his wife, the Office Manager, an ultimatum.  She told them, that it was either her or the receptionist. They chose to create another position. By that Wednesday afternoon, I was so overwhelmed and pissed, that they allow someone, to dictate the atmosphere of their office and someone as lowly as a receptionist.  Don’t misunderstand me, reception work is honorable, you are the face of the company.  I, in fact was being hired as the Hygiene Care Coordinator…Receptionist #2, lol  So, it’s now 2 of us at the front desk, and of course being that new person, I’m kind of getting a feel for everything, but I noticed that everybody in the office, except the dentist and his wife, didn’t get along with this one person.  Now, if there’s a staff of 10 and there’s one person who causes friction with the rest of your staff AND they’ve been there less than a year, and the rest of your staff has been there 5 years+, wouldn’t you get rid of the person causing dissension in the ranks.  But further observation revealed that it was because the girl was a money-hound. That’s why they kept her.  I have never seen someone talk to a patient/customer, anyone that you’re serving, the way she did.  It was downright rude and jaw-dropping.  They’ve lost people, patients and now staff, because of it.  This office was run completely different from which I came.  We were a modern dental office, so EVERYTHING, was computerized, this office was still pulling paper charts and doing silver fillings, very obsolete. And the dentist wasn’t that old, so that’s what made it even more baffling.  I was so stressed out by that Friday, my day off.  I spent the whole weekend in the house, stressed, with indigestion, severe heartburn and diarrhea. It took me 2.5 years at the other office to feel these some symptoms, it took 4 days at this new office.  WTH, I had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life and my body was letting me know loud and clear.  The last time these symptoms happened, my doctor said that he’d send me to a specialist, because they were becoming so severe.  That Monday I went into the office, feeling terrible.  The chest and stomach pain would not go away.  I should’ve called out sick but I’m thinking I’ll go in and let me see how much pain I’m in and they’ll understand.  I had converted to a lettuce diet, that didn’t help either.  So, that afternoon, during my lunch break, I called my doctor, full well knowing what he was going to say. But the kicker is I have to go to see my doctor to get the referral for the specialist because this hasn’t happened since mid-last year.  He didn’t have anything available on Tuesday because he was at his other office, which doesn’t have my records, so Wednesday was going to have to work.  I went back into the office to let them know that I had to go to my doctor on Wednesday.  I was told that, “well, we paid for the whole staff to have the CPR certification done on Wednesday, can you go another day.”  WTH, I’m in dire pain and have been for the last 3 days and you’re trying to strong arm me into a class that you paid, $22, for yourself to take, and added my name at the last moment.  Not going to happen.  I came in that Tuesday, and he, the dentist, asked me, “were you able to change your appointment”.  NO, I was not…I hadn’t tried and was not going to.  I’ve been living on lettuce and water for 4 days now, WTF is wrong with you people.  The day was awkward, needless to say. The next morning I woke up, still in pain, not as bad, but still in pain.  My appointment was a little later in the day, so I proceed to ask God, “what’s really going on, I know, you’re trying to tell me something.”  And His answer came as clear as day, this is not where you’re supposed to be, but I allowed you to move, because you were so comfortable in an uncomfortable situation, that would have never left had there not been another job already lined up. And then I had to make you miserable beyond compare in that job. “

Wow, I had become so comfortable, but not content, in a miserable position and had deduced myself to accepting it.  It all stems back from not loving yourself and not thinking that you deserve more.

Has God ever had to force you into doing something? What destructive behaviors  do you have that have you stuck it uncomfortable positions, whether it’s a job, a relationship, an addiction?

Until Next Time,

Be Blessed, Be Loved, but most of all Be YOU!

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