Loving the sound of that. 2014 is going to be an awesome year. We’ve made it through another year. The concensus with everyone I’ve spoken with is that 2013 was a difficult year. Some said financially it was horrible, others said that it was very eye-opening. I agree with both. It was difficult financially but I believe for myself that it was also eye-opening, because it took me losing everything to figure it out. I left my job expecting greater more lucrative opportunities, and it was spiritually lucrative but financially…not so much. Inevitably I left my own home to go back to stay with my parents, my dad for about 2 months and now I’m at my mother’s. Recently I surrendered my car back to Honda, as it was several months behind anyway. That was really difficult because I felt like that said that I was giving up my freedom. Ironically, I am freer than I’ve been in years. Although it was difficult physically and financially, I can say that I don’t regret giving up those things and going through these changes, because the spiritual growth has been exponential. That’s what it’s all about, Spirit must prevail and when you find yourself draining your spirit and ultimately your body to keep things that you thought you needed, I’ve come to call it the “American Illusion,” it’s supposedly the “American Dream,” stress and discontent prevails. I’ve given up everything and am starting with a clean slate. And that takes serious spiritual exploration, strength and growth, your life is the sum total of your spirit. And what I’ve found was that my spirit, my foundation had so many holes in it that it had to crumble before I would accept it. As Elizabeth Gilbert says in Eat Pray Love, “Ruin is a Gift, Ruin is the way to transformation.” So what am I, I’ve chosen to be a transformer because I’ve now repeated these things twice—yes, this is the second time I’ve been through this, basically repeated the same pattern. Obviously, I didn’t get the lesson the first time, so I’m relying on Spirit to guide me, not the American Illusion, not my corrupted parental guidance, not this world’s expectations but guidance from the Supreme Being. I’m not giving myself an option to fail or repeat foolishness…I’m going to FLY!!!
When you’re a spiritual person, as I am, if you haven’t noticed, and you don’t follow your spiritual guide, you end up in, uhm…shit. And shit stinks, lol. As mentioned in a post from last year, I’ve been on a spiritual odyssey and I’m discovering the true Marcella. And I’m at a point in my life, where I refuse to allow others inhibitions and phobias…disguised as ORGANIZED religion, guide my life any longer. I did it for 18 years. Damn, that’s half my life. I will no longer let the life that was created by childhood trauma and adulthood drama deter me, but the life, destiny and purpose that God originally intended is my goal. In Marianne Williamson’s book “A Return to Love,” she says that there are only two emotions Love and fear. Well, God is Love and everything that doesn’t originate from God is done out of fear. It may be disguised as anger, resentment, strife and the like but it is all encapsulized by fear. I refuse to let that demonic spirit dictate another second, minute, hour, day, month or year of my life. I’ve done a lot of things in fear and didn’t do some things because of fear. Fear is a formidable foe but we must see it as any other thing that blocks our way, just an obstacle that must be overcome. It is time TO FLY!! Find that thing, that purpose, that makes you fly!! So here I stand on the mountaintop and I’m diving off. I have NO other choice but to FLY!!